I’ve always wondered what I would do if I was called upon to serve my country.

I’ve always been curious to find out what would happen if I was offered the chance to stand up for my country and my president. Take the steps necessary to be able to say I support strong, courageous leadership and demonstrate national resolve. Show that I was not ready to throw away such a fine set of “historic and unparalleled efforts for our nation.” Prepare myself, as it were, to make the ultimate sacrifice for the United States of America.

Deep inside, such questions have lingered like the guilt of a man who had known for too long that he had had it too easy; known that one day a reckoning had to come. A reckoning that he would never be able to escape – a moment of truth that would define not only who he was as a man, but also prove exactly what kind of an American he was. Clearly. Precisely. Right out there in the open for all to see.

Today, that day came for me. The chance I had been waiting for. The chance to find out once and for all what it was exactly that I was made of.

And what did I do?

I choked.

The opportunity came in the form of a letter. Actually, two letters – from two of the most respected and important people in America today: President George W. Bush and Republican Speaker of the House Dennis J. Hastert. Each of them were inviting me to take part in a fundraising dinner in Washington, DC known as “The President’s Dinner” where, along with First Lady Laura Bush, I could “celebrate (Bush’s) first term in office” and the “important part (I) and others have played in making the Republican Party the majority party.”

All I would need would be $2,500. Or, if I wanted, $25,000 for a table for ten.

Oh, but what I could take part in for such a reasonable sum. Perhaps Speaker Hastert said it best: “Together, with Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, National Republican Party leaders, and the President’s closest supporters, we will celebrate President’s George W. Bush’s first term and honor the strong, steady leadership with which he has guided our nation.”

Already, the asking price seems like a bargain.

After all, look all the stuff I’ve gotten already, even without ponying up any of my hard earned dollars: according to President Bush’s letter, “America is safer because we rebuilt our military and we are winning the War on Terror. America is stronger because when faced with recession and economic challenges, we cut taxes, held the line of regulation, and passed far-reaching corporate reforms.”

“…economic growth in the last half of 2003 was the most robust in 20 years,” he goes on, speaking directly to my heart. “More jobs are being created and more people are going back to work.”

“And America is better because we reformed public education so every child learns to read and we improved Medicare.”

Despite the stilted language, it all sounds too good to be true. And I wish I could go, because more than anything, I don’t want to be the kind of an American who fails to demonstrate his gratitude when to opportunity arises. I want to be up there with the rest of the swells, celebrating what has no doubt been one of the most phenomenally successful presidential administrations ever, reveling in my God-given place among the most thankful and fortunate among us.

It’s just that, well…I don’t have $25,000. Or $2,500, for that matter. Oh, I know that’s no excuse. I know it’s my personal responsibility, as an American, to come up with the money. Or to have lived my life more successfully than I have, so that I could have whipped out the checkbook the moment the letters arrived and dashed off a check without needing to check with my accountant or chief financial officer first.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Besides, there’s the mortgage to pay, which has been harder of late ever since my manufacturing job was offshored, and the loss-prevention gig I got at Best Buy to replace it only pays around $9.50 an hour. Plus, the insurance premiums for my son’s doctor’s visits have gone through the roof, the car needs a new transmission, and my daughter needs some new clothes for school. Not to mention my wife has had to quit work ever since her mom has been unable to feed herself and Medicare stopped covering the cost of a home healthcare worker. So there goes another couple of chances to scratch up the necessary dough.

“And while I’m honored to be recognized,” President Bush reminds me in his letter, “the truth is much work remains to be done and none of what we have accomplished to date would have been possible without you.”

For his part, Rep. Hastert puts an even finer point on it: “You know the liberal wing of the Democratic Party…expects to raise $400 million to go toe-to-toe with the NRSC, the NRCC, and President Bush.”

“So if you and I and our entire Republican Party don’t unite behind President Bush and our Republican House and Senate majorities, the success of the Republican leadership and President Bush’s historic and unparalleled efforts for our nation will be wasted.”

How I wish I could find a way to show George and Laura and Dennis and Bill just how thankful I am, how ready I am to stand toe-to-toe with them to keep America strong. And, while I’m at it, celebrate my own small role in making President Bush the man he is today. All without, much to my chagrin, having to come up with 2,500 big ones that I really don’t have.

But then again, maybe there is a way out. Maybe I can find a way to thank them all without having to come up with a third mortgage on the house, or tell my wife to dump her mom.

I’ll just join the military. That should let them know how much I care.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 13th, 2004 at 4:01 am and is filed under On Writing.